The Look v03

  Blue.  The color of the morning and night sky.

The color of peace. 

The color of protection.

Blue is also the word used to paint that certain kind of feeling:

Loneliness…

…the kind that doesn’t just go away when you sleep it off; it keeps your mind occupied about something poignant/meaningless/boring/divine all day for weeks. 

…it is that feeling that pervaded so well in your life you hardly remember when it struck you first, or if you’re still in that state now.  A modern-day contagion.  Rarely do people know they carry it, and rarely do people cure it.

But you know what blue I like best?  I like blue best when paired with black.

Following the tradition that started in The Look, the feature theme is not from Crash and Burn (though I have borrowed a few lines of the song and placed it in my tag) but from a Roxette classic entitled You Don’t Understand Me.  Both songs are very close to my heart, since listening to them and internalizing their messages served as comfort for my days of loneliness.  I feel that a part of me is still in the blue, though, but I know better now.  It is because of grace that I still find myself standing and continuing to hope and trust.  Father said I’m being obstinately slow in my relationship.  Well, what can I say?  Thank you.

You may download the MP3 of YDUM here.  Enjoy!

“My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.”
(excerpt from 2 Corinthians 12: 7-10)

The Way That Leads to Peace

by Dr. Harold Sala

 “When a man’s ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.”
Proverbs 16:7, NKJV

One of the church fathers, Clement of Alexandria, used an interesting expression. He wrote of “the way of peace” or “the path that leads to peace.” Though the expression isn’t found in the Bible, there are literally hundreds of expressions in the Scriptures that tell us it is God’s intention for us to live in peace.

Would you personally life to make peace with someone? With a husband, an aged father, a co-worker who mistreated you? For years you have lived with the thought of revenge, but now you are not so sure that all the hostility, the loneliness, and the pain are worth it. Besides, you have a nagging feeling that tells you that not only was the other person wrong, but that you also are wrong.

What is the way that leads to peace? If peace is your goal, here are four steps, or guidelines, which you must pursue:

Guideline #1: The way that leads to peace is marked by the commitment of two parties who want peace. There are three things you cannot do: climb a fence that leans towards you, kiss a girl who pulls away from you, and make peace with someone who refuses to come to the table and talk. That’s why Paul wrote, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” ( Romans 12:18 )

Ramsey MacDonald was the prime minister of England when a discussion about peace took place with a fellow government official who thought that MacDonald was idealistic and unreal. MacDonald argued for peace while the official who was a specialist on foreign affairs was unimpressed. “The desire for peace does not necessarily ensure it,” said the antagonist. “Quite true,” countered MacDonald, quickly adding, “but either does the desire for food satisfy your hunger, but at least it gets you started toward a restaurant.”

Guideline #2: The way that leads to peace is marked by the willingness of two individuals to give up their anger and negotiate. Frankly, there are some who enjoy being angry. It gives them reason to justify their baseness and rottenness. Besides, they find it much easier to sling mud, or stones, or bullets, than to admit that they, too, might have been wrong. At some point, the way that leads to peace demands you forget about the issue of who was right and who was wrong. You must consider the benefits of peace to be more worthwhile than the perverse satisfaction of having some justification for your anger.

Guideline #3: The way that leads to peace is marked by the refusal to continue the battle. It’s difficult to have a war when nobody wants to fight. There’s an old story, well documented by a variety of sources, which illustrates the point. On Christmas Eve in the year 1914, German and British soldiers were in the trenches facing each other. Since this was the first Christmas Eve of the war, neither side was sure if they would fight on Christmas or desist for the day. Finally, British soldiers raised signs in German: “Merry Christmas”. Then carols were sung on both sides. Eventually soldiers met in a kind of no-man’s land and exchanged candies and cigarettes. Not until reinforcements were sent in, who had not witnessed that event, did fighting begin anew.

Guideline #4: The path to peace is marked by goodwill. The path may not be terribly well worn, but wise are those who travel it.

Resource reading: Isaiah 26: 1-5

Guidelines.Org 

Vaseline

“We stand, we slip”
That’s the closest aphorism to us

“We slip, we fall”
How could you let me go?

“We fall, we hurt”
You’ve always been cold and wet as water

“We hurt, we bleed”
But you can drown me no more.

More Important than Giving the Right Answers is Asking the Right Questions

…To know the real score

…your deepest, dirtiest intentions…

…the true heart of the matter. 

Communication isn’t just an exchange of words but a war of Being, where Truth always emerge victorious.

The Bench

The Bench

…

…

…

… 

Chi Code is one of those movies that grossed more than any movie (or Dan Brown) critic could ever imagine despite its *ho-humm* and somewhat *pant pant* story-telling.  Compared to the book, it has several letdowns and (at least) something I was happy about.  Honestly.  I loved the novel, even made a review about it last 2004, and watching DVC–the most eagerly anticipated movie of 2006 and the subject of every religious conservative and some self-righteous politicians’ debate–cost me not just a hundred-and-fifty bucks. (more…)

Hed Turners

I thought it was rare that I would be seeing two of my favorite models, Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima, together in one pic.  I was soooooo happy when I found (not one) but several images of them together.  Take the image below as an example, which I felt was somehow definitely bastardized because of the big, yellow letters–the blog-master’s thoughts highlighted in an amusing yet scandalizing way.  So I scrapped the letters and took what is essential: their faces.

They’re always a pretty sight, ne? *sigh*

Alessandra Ambrosio’s official site is here. If you have pop-up blockers enabled in your browser, please disable them temporarily and let the site play tricks with your eyes.    Oh yes, you’re looking at a goddess, all right.

The search for those cartoon whatchamacallits is over. Somehow I was once obsessed with these toons that I get frustrated looking them up in Google. First of all, I don’t even know what search key to type!

They’re really uber cute and sexy. I planned on imitating how it was drawn, and then use Photoshop in coloring them.  Or maybe Corel.  Nevermind.  Anyway, it was a long story, meeting these dolls. Good thing Tin-Tin told me how to get them.

I’m talking about the Hed Kandi dolls–those lusciousl and cool girls you see on Hed Kandi albums covers. They’re the bomb and are now one of my favorite things in the whole world! Google offers a wide variety of image selections in its gallery. You may check them out here.

I ahve posted some Hed Kandi dolls are posted below, in case you still don’t know what I’m yapping about.

wHaT‘s NeW

I have included in my “blog roll” Butch Dalisay’s blog, Pinoy Penman. Butch has a column in The Philippine Star, which is where I got to know him and found that, well, he might be helpful for my writing improvement.

I have also update my best friend’s Web site link, since she’s now at home here in I.PH.  The Celestial Maiden has ascended, and with her departing come MisAnthropicRealist.  Welcome.

Of course, if there is some things we should greet with open arms, there is also some things we should bid goodbye to. I just heard from Tin-Tin that she’ll quit blogging for good, part of it is because she said she’s tired of blogging, and part of it is because blogging is prohibited in the workplace. Bummer.    So I literally scratched her site off my roll, but I’m still keeping the link available to anyone any time…for old time’s sake.

Anyway, I’m still here, and hopefully…yeah, this domain won’t get blocked, too.  (Rest in peace, LiveJournal).  It’s not my thing to hang out in Internet cafes/shops just to update blogs, Friendsters, and MySpace accounts, y’ know. *sigh*

The (Official) Philippine Star Web site

Talk is Certainly Cheap

When there are issues, it is not enough for two people to just talk.  They want their questions answered, else there is no point in talking at all…

The Look v02

It’s too early to be changing this blog’s design, but I changed it anyway.  When the first was called Sappy Summer (with the blues and the greens), this time I’d just call it Sunset.

Why orange?, I asked myself.  Well, it wasn’t intended.  It just happens that I got a good header and background combination.  I would have opted for yellow, since I think its becoming the IN color these days, and blue, but I already did the blue (with the green) and I think the blog would look too bright to make yellow as the background.  I was surprised myself when I realized that the orange scheme they have here is not the brilliant kind.  It suited well with the header, so I’m pleased with that.

I like orange, actually.  It’s like a “borderline color”.  It got some of its shade from a lighter kind of tan, gold, and yellow.  I’m an ignoramus when it comes to blending colors to produce a new one, and I swore I never memorized the color wheel, too, but that is the orange that I like and you are seeing here.

The tag line is taken from a Mr. Big song entitled “Goin’ Where the Wind Blows”.  I love that song the moment I heard of it the first time…which was yesterday.   My brothers and I were huge Mr. Big fans and listening to their music again brought back high school years with them in our humble abode, wasting the afternoon away in front of the radio.  *sigh*  Makes anyone feel younger, doesn’t it?    The complete lyric of the song is posted below.

As for the watermark, well, I initially picked the dune fences.  I thought it looked perfect, but again, I don’t feel its connection to the whole look.  It could have foreshadowed that of being bounded.  Limited by my own life principles, beliefs, and faith, which is actually a good great thing.  But by replacing it with candles, I decided, it would remind me of light. Either representing people as guides, enlightenment for our human aspects, or simply the “arrow” to the right way to go.  Not to mention that the colors were totally sync. Everything just looks…nice.

I love what I see now.  I’m sure you, too, will love hearing the Mr. Big song after downloading it here.  

“Goin’ Where the Wind Blows”

Yeah
Yeah
Goin’ where the wind blows
(Na nana na na na)
Yeah
(Na nana na na na)

“Start Living”

Stop worrying about what you don’t have and start finding real joy in what you do have. Stop agonizing over what might happen and start moving toward the best of what can happen.

All the richness of life is here today for you to touch. The limitless abundance of the universe is yours right now to experience.

– Ralph Marston

On Poseidon

I just knew we’re going to watch a movie yesterday without him telling me.  Besides, what would we be doing in Market, Market the whole day anyway?, I scoffed to myself when Daves told the driver to take us there.  We’d be going somewhere, he said a few hours before on the phone.  Maglalakad-lakad lang…mag-iikut-ikot.  As to the “somewhere” he’s referring to, he didn’t care to elaborate, as always.  That’s typically Daves.  Oh, okay, I said before we hung up.  I knew I should be asking where but didn’t, since I have this feeling that he wanted to surprise me. I was clueless, as always, whether I chose to be one or not.  Between the two of us, that’s typically me.

I was right about watching a movie.  But I didn’t know that the movie would be the drama/thriller Poseidon, knowing that boo can be so picky with movies since he’s a bonafide (and self-confessed) yellow cat.  I already knew what to expect from him once we enter that dark room.

Bummer that we had to miss the movie trailers prior to the main film; that was one of my most-awaited moments in cinema watching.  We were quiet for about ten minutes until the movie showed how luxuriously picturesque the ocean liner Poseidon was.  Can’t describe it fully in words, but the elevators looked like those 5-star-plus hotel elevators in the US we see on TV.  So there.

Anyway, two of the main characters literally bumped into each other at the lobby, and boo recognized Elena (played by Mia Maestro).  He was like:

“Hey, I’ve seen that girl before!”

At the poker scene, I realized that, by God, Jennifer Ramsey looks familiar, too! I was like:

“Hey, I’ve seen those breasts before!”

And those breasts (”Twins”, as she unabashedly corrected her father) belonged to no other than Emmy Rossum, the girl who played Christine in The Phantom of the Opera.

And then boo began giggling when the ship’s captain introduced the lovely Gloria (played by Stacey Ferguson of B.E.P.) and she began shaking her bootie.

To me, the movie is not a drag…unless you consider frightened, screaming people in fine clothes falling and hitting something hard–a balcony edge, or something–really dragging.  I enjoyed it immensely.  There were tear-jerking moments, and there were also annoying moments.  (Damn kid can’t stay in one place at least for ten freakin’ seconds!)  But it ended well. 

From start to finish, we never soften our grips on each others’ hands.

Bad…bad….BAD!

I haven’t been responsible yesterday.  Well, I guess I was not that responsible for the tasks assigned I volunteered for.  I did what I can do, though, despite being soooo busy with all the reports that needs to be edited and posted.  Before 6PM, before the other volunteers from the outreach project went to Ateneo for a seminar, Peter (officially) took charge of the task of designing the pledge cards and the poster.  I felt a mixture of guilt and gladness…not to mention that I was also quit appalled at myself.

Guilty because…I looked like the useless fellow of the group now.

Glad because…I can finally finish the book I’ve been reading these past few days.

Appalled because…as I realized it later that day, I really don’t want to do anything but to finish that damn book…and was rather thankful that Peter took over!

  (more…)

Kapangan Outreach Project

I remembered I received an email from Chris a couple of weeks ago to ask if I could be one of the eager hands in the new, non-Trend Micro-related outreach project he was planning on doing in Kapangan, Benguet. (So I guess, sad to say, the initial plan of holding an outreach for the Leyte landslide was scrapped. =\)  I was surprised when he actually made me as one of his core people in this gig.

He’s very excited about it, and that exuding excitement is undeniably contagious.  We had a get-together last Thursday morning, and I can say that we are a power team. 

Chris has his hand in managing people (because he is a manager, by the way) and making things happen with much control and grace; Ruby, a technical writer from the other department, is blessed with perseverance, dedication, and belief in last-minute miracles; Peter, the sweet, tech-savvy, and uber thoughtful guy from the IS department, who couldn’t seem to stay in one place very long, always employs creativity at its best; Liezel, being naturally bubbly and outgoing, is the very first to volunteer for field work, where the fun actually is; and Ghia—dear, dear Ghia, always taking good care of AV all by herself—is commendable for her responsibility, patience, and good heart.

As for me, well, I may or may not have the qualities of my mates, but I do believe that I have this great thing, from the bottom of my gut to the base of my neck, about helping people.  It’s something I feel I could be really passionate about…other than doing or creating things with my hands.  (Hehe.  Don’t think funny now. )  Other than learning and discovering new things; other than improving what needs to be improved about myself.

I admit that I don’t have a main role to play in the project (I even feel that I won’t be going to Kapangan for some reason.) but I am not guilty.  I gave my word that I’d be helping them in whatever sick way I can, step by step by step, and to me, that is where the fun is: touching every aspect of what is great in the making yet not really grasping a part of it. It’s like touching water.

Not that I’m afraid of responsibility, or I don’t want to be held liable on anything when something wrong happened.  It’s just that…I do things best and I feel better about myself when people see me do little in the foreground, but I’m actually working more in the background.

Waer of the Wind

cloven rossette
from Helen to Paris:
“I found you!”

AUTHOR’S NOTE: The author of this haiku reserves the right to inform true haiku aficionados, who by some means got themselves lost in this corner of blogdom and happened to stumble upon this humble post, to simply smile and forgive this author’s naïveté, if they find the above-written ‘ku’ somehow repulsive for their taste.

“Unburden Yourself”

Many of the little things that cause you continuing frustration can be greatly reduced or eliminated. 

The small frustrations are usually the easiest to get rid of.  Because they are small, though, you may not have made it a priority to deal with them.

Remember, however, that the small frustrations add up quickly.  When combined together, they can impose a major burden on our time and life.

So make the choice to unburden yourself from them, one by one.  Devote some time ridding yourself of many of those little frustrations that can add together to drag you down.

At first glance, it may seem like a waste to spend an hour or two dealing with something that normally sets you back only a few minutes each day.  Yet if you can save yourself those few minutes, day after day, month after month, it can add up to an enormous amount of time.

And by freeing yourself from more and more small frustrations, you free your mind and your spirit focus on the positive, meaningful things.  Find ways to unburden yourself from little frustrations, and you’ll find opportunities to add greatly to the richness of life.

- Ralph Marston

This is exactly the reason why I always deal with the small ones first before getting into the big ones.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Happy Birthday, Con.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Open Door

Evanescence’s latest album, The Open Door, was scheduled to be released on October 3 of this year.

Following the multi-platinum, worldwide success of FALLEN, THE OPEN DOOR is an ideal showcase for the band’s inevitable personal and professional growth, with songs of introspection, longing, doubt, self-respect and ultimately, empowerment and anticipation.  (more…)

Of Making New Plans, Letting Go, and Being Loved

It was just last night that I broke down and cried myself to death to sleep for some thing that is still unclear to me.  I don’t even know what exactly am I crying about.

Yesterday, I received the news of my brother’s MRI results: the doctors in St. Luke’s said that he needs to undergo operation on his lower back spine, since they found out that the fluid stopped circulating there.  That is why my brother’s feeling pain.  They also found out that there is something blocking, if I understood it correctly, the fluid from nourishing the bones, so they have to remove that.  It costs PhP180,000, and they (we) don’t have much.

I refuse to feel pity and not do anything about it when I knew I should be doing something; it hardly does anyone any good anyway.  Okay, I’ll quit fooling around with the ‘any’s.  I guess one factor that led me to break down last night, other than some pent-up frustrations or well-kept sadness, is that I’m somehow finding it difficult to muster enough courage to totally let go of money that big.  I’m not saying I’m materialistic–the money is from my company stock shares, which was awarded to me roughly two years ago–but I also had plans for that money…plans I would be doing less for myself and more for my parents.  It’s not much, but its a start, and I felt reluctant letting go because its like throwing away what I have planned  for a long time in doing to the two most important people in my life (my mom, especially). No matter how small, that money was supposed to be my biggest step.

Yet last night I found myself deciding on using the money for my brother’s operation.  Its a little funny…thinking about it now that I have planned on setting aside enough dough for my own operation.  Ha ha.  Well, I’ve placed an indelible period at the end of my decision of letting go.  I prayed for strength and comfort, and (understanding it now) cried all inhibitions, reluctance, and distrust out of me.  So when I express my wanting in helping them to my brother or my sister-in-law, I would say it with conviction and a smile.  No hard feelings, no internal squabbles, no meaningful and imposing looks as if to tell them they owe me their lives.  I don’t want to feel any of that crap.  Else, I won’t deserve loving from anyone this much….

But it looks like I do.  Job made my day and wiped that forlorn look on my face cause by horrible eyebags.  He gave me a surprise: downloaded MP3s of the Prince of Tennis soundtrack; a Mandarin, instrumental, and piano versions of “Because I’m a Girl” by KISS; and an MP3 of “What More Can I Give?” by Michael Jackson with various artists.

My boyfriend?  He brought me juice from the pantry–something he doesn’t normally do.

Best things in life are free, and great joys always come in small packages.

Its fun to watch, and most people love it than just listening, so I’m going to share the vidz of the aforementioned songs above.

Enjoy!

What More Can I Give?
Because I’m a Girl

Breather

This week is a hectic week, not just to me but also to my family:

…My lola had her eye operation today to remove (by scraping) the cataract from her left eye

…My brother had his MRI today to check on his lower back.  He had some sort of complication in his spine, which made him incapable of bending to his left side and made his right hip protrude.  The protrusion looks too obvious he had to wear baggy clothes to work.  He can’t run now, but he can at least brisk walk yet not without pain.  I’ve heard from my sister-in-law’s cousin that there came a time when he couldn’t even walk.  Anyway, if the MRI shows that he has to be operated, well…

…I’m going to have two exams on Friday

…I’m meeting a project deadline on Friday.  I swear, it’s the most BO-RING (not to mention shoulder-straining) thing I’ve ever worked on in my life!

…I’m currently torn between keeping every thing and every one I have now and responding to the call of, well, being a nun.  It’s a long story. Or I’ll probably write about that on a separate entry.

I’ll try not to think too much.  (Not to mention that I still have to plan on how to tell my boyfriend of my plans of becoming a Pink Sister) For now, I need to thank God for this morning’s little miracle: He gave me a breather by letting one of the exams be moved almost a good week from now, which means giving me extra review time–something that I know will greatly suffer this week.

This is my second chance, I know, since I haven’t been really religiously reviewing the main review materials…to make sure I’ll pass.

This Pastor has Guts!

The text below is fron a college friend and thought that I might share it with everyone.  Yes, Reverend Joe Wright has guts.    Innards, I have, but guts, hmm…

It was said that this prayer was prayed in Kansas at the opening session of the Kansas Senate.  Read on…

“Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, ‘Woe to those who call evil good,’ but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.

We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.
We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem.

We have abused power and called it politics.
We have coveted our neighbor’s possessions and called it ambition.
We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it “freedom of expression”.
We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free.

Amen!”

More from the email: The response was immediate. A number of legislators walked out during the prayer in protest. In 6 short weeks, Central Christian Church, where Rev. Wright is pastor, logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls responding negatively. The church is now receiving international requests for copies of this prayer from India, Africa and Korea.”

Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on his radio program, “The Rest of the Story,” and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired. With the Lord’s help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and whole heartedly become our desire so that we again can be called “one nation Under God.”

Amaaaaaazing!

The Letter ‘M’

I just checked on the mango tarts I bought for myself and my boyfriend the other day and, oh my God, the chunks of sliced mangoes on top looked like it became pale wooden strips. I tell you, the fridge in our office can kill! It must be below below negative adgjowtfadfs degrees in there!

The poor little things…. Bet it hurts to be a naked Inuit, too. =\

Speaking of mangoes, I suddenly found myself looking for info about Joe D’Mango. Instead, I found an old LoveNotes posting site back at ‘05. I’ve read some of Joe’s “Love cases” and replies and, well, it’s pretty interesting.

Read on, and have fun.

Those Penshoppe Days

Cross over walls
Cry out with one voice
Make up no sound
Love beyond words
Open your heart
Share your soul
Let’s build bridges
And live in one world
So come on!
Just be there
Let’s make it work together
Do your share
Let’s make a pact
As we learn to just be there….*

(*Lyrics from memory. I’m not sure if I got all of them right though….)

Ah…the days of the good, the clean, and the fun. High School. I went in an exclusive all girls’ school in Baguio, and back then I consider lesbianism, or the act of engaging into romantic relations with a fellow girl, as something good and clean…not to mention natural in a male-deprived environment. Sure there were male instructors around, but they’re either gay, married, or simply maniacs.

I recalled the Penshoppe jingle while cleaning my room, which to me is some sort of preparation for the coming days of this Holy Week, between dusting books and throwing trash I have a knack of keeping and rearranging the lower contents of the built-in dresser. As I found myself singing the jingle while working, I remembered that year in high school when I heard the news about a certain Derrick Hamada as being one of the new Penshoppe endorsers on TV. (Back then, Penshoppe had reportedly conducted several screenings for models in their new TV ads, and they all want fresh faces. Derrick was part of batch 1.) He was a senior in an all-boys’ school there, and people say that he’s rich, popular, and extremely good-looking. I’ve never seen the ad yet at that time but my best friend did. I can still remember that goo-goo twinkle in her eyes when she told me one day about Derrick and hinted of planning on following his footsteps to stardom. Yep, that was so like Bet: always planning on shooting at something but never really aiming.

Inside, I wished her the best in that, though I felt a little envious because she had looks to back up what she was planning. I also wanted to tell her hey, I want to be a star, too, but I can’t help imagining that look of repulsionon her face if I said so, so I kept my mouth shut and smiled. Since then, I never cared much about the whole Penshoppe thing until I finally saw it on TV myself. And by God, Derrick was the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen in my life! My then limited sight of the world couldn’t believe that someone with a face like that existed in this city. I think I loved him secretly then.

Now, well, all I can say about that time was…they could have placed a jingle in Derrick Hamada’s Penshoppe ad. (The jingle above was for batch 2.) It could have been more memorable, more appealing to the public teens. It could have stretched this Baguio boy’s legacy more. When the second Penshoppe ad featuring batch 2 came after a couple of months, batch 1 was slowly overshadowed then totally forgotten. A couple of years after, no more Penshoppe ads were seen on TV.

Consequently, as media had evolved in itself, so were the people who benefit from them. Gone were the days of teenybopper-trendsetters, bizarre dancing on MTV, killer clogs, and the age of pre-relativism. I now live in an era where people dreamed of ousting “Her Excellency” (whom they found out to be not so excellent after all), where “wise” people should think of ways to acquire more money than think of ways to improve their relationships, and where some dull-witted man proudly confesses that his favorite book is FHM.

I don’t know which era is worse.